Neither is good Latin. The first one:
Sumus semper in excretum, sed alta variat
... translates as:
We are always in [excretum], but [alta] changes.
Excretum is the accusative of the supine of excerno 'to separate'; presumably excrementum is meant, but it should at least be in the ablative—excremento. (The English verb excrete does derive from excretum, ...
Surdus is indeed a good choice for "deaf", and vita for "life".
What you need is
the singular nominative (the basic form) of vita and the same form of surdus,
the same form of surdus in the feminine gender because vita is feminine, and
the verb est, "is".
You can leave the verb out, but it doesn't hurt to have it for clarity....
I am not aware of a comparable expression in Latin.
The most idiomatic option seems to be using pronouns.
For "the car in question" I would suggest:
The best choice depends on what kind of emphasis you need.
If you want to underline that it is the very same car and ...
The verb sanescere sounds good, although it seems to be quite rare. (What do I have to read in Lewis & Short? Post-Augustan? Fie!) The usual term is convalescere. You can say mox sanesce for sure, but it sounds a bit like an overly literal translation, does it not? I would prefer something like:
Fac quam primum convalescas.
Please recover as soon as ...
As James K said, this is already in Latin. I would offer one thing, though: avoid the imperative. Whom are you ordering with the imperative? For these sorts of things, Latin prefers the jussive subjunctive:
Comedamus et bibamus atque gaudeamus.
Let us eat, drink, and be merry.
This is often a fluff phrase in English that need not be translated at all:
Ubi raedam conductam rettulisti, velimus clavem juxta raedam deponas.
When you have returned your rental car, we ask that you deposit the key next to the car.
… because, what other car could we be talking about?
If that should not be clear enough, you can probably use ille:
Adapting Horace's "nunc est bibendum" = "now one must drink", which was his exhortation to celebrate the fall of Antony & Cleopatra, in 30BC:
"nunc est edendum, bibendum et gaudendum." = "now one must eat, drink & rejoice".
For a full grammatical analysis of this use of the impersonal, neuter gerundive see Q: ...
De minimis non curat Deus
This is valid Latin, and means literally "God doesn't care about tiny things".
Google Translate is just extremely bad at Latin, for a few reasons: it doesn't do well with inflected languages in general, since it generally treats words as atomic units that can't be broken down further, and the Latin corpus is extremely ...
I'll shy away from a literal translation (which is a very post-Classical way of speaking) that the images show, and go with a more classical idiom:
Behold, the storm!
This works better if you imagine it in Roman comedy, where a character appears on stage and utters the line.
I should note that tempestas can mean something other than storm. ...
I would translate this as:
Ego tempestas sum.
Either the ego or the sum could be left out, but the ego is for emphasis (so you're not just saying, “I'm a storm”), and the sum is there because I like complete sentences.
In case you're getting a tattoo, you won't be the first ;-)
I agree with Rafael's answer but with a minor adjustment, as Latin usually prefers to put the verb at the end. And I've used eius rather than illius as is qui is most commonly used for he who. I thought ille and iste were sometimes used to mean 'the former' and 'the latter.' So - Sanguis eius qui petra salutis nostrae est.