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Text to translate:

Vessel was crafted with great artistry, quality of material and beauty of the form was scrupulously taken care of.

My attempt:

Vas cum arte magna factum fuit, qualitas materiae pulchritudoque formae scrupule curam actus fuit.

It would be helpful if you took time to check my attempt for mistakes. What improvements could be made?

Specific questions:

  1. Is curam actus fuit correct translation of taken care part?
  2. Is there other word, more suitable than vas?
  3. Is pulchritudoque formae correct or maybe it should be pulchritudo fromaeque? I think it's ok the way it is, but it would be good if you confirmed it.
  • Do you have any more specific questions/doubts about your translation? – brianpck Feb 28 '18 at 15:06
  • @brianpck I edited question. – user1846 Feb 28 '18 at 16:50
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  1. Is curam actus fuit correct translation of taken care part?

No, this doesn't sound correct to me. You have a double perfect actus fuit (which I believe is rare if not nonexistent in classical Latin); the passive perfect of agere is actus est. The intended role of curam is not clear to me, although I do see the analogue to the English structure that probably gave rise to it.

I would recommend finding a verb which means "to take care of". One option is curare. There may be better choices, but let me go with this one now. Since both qualitas and pulchritudo are feminine (this may change if you change your words; see below), the passive perfect is curatae sunt.

The same double perfect appears in factum fuit. It should be factum est instead. If this construction needs more explanation or you want to know exactly how legitimate forms like factum fuit are, I recommend asking a separate question.

I would also drop the preposition cum; a plain instrumental ablative sounds more natural to me here.

  1. Is there other word, more suitable than vas?

I think vas is a good general word for "vessel", and I cannot think of a better choice. For example, I would translate washing dishes to vasa lavare. (This is also convenient if you ever need to wash dishes in hexameter.)

  1. Is pulchritudoque formae correct or maybe it should be pulchritudo fromaeque? I think it's ok the way it is, but it would be good if you confirmed it.

Yes, this use of -que is correct. A good way to see this is to drop all attributes: "quality and material" is qualitas pulchritudoque.

However, I am not convinced that qualitas is the best translation here. It is indeed possible, but it may not be quite as close to the English "quality" as one might think superficially. You might want to consider decor or subtilitas, for example. It is possible that it is the best choice after all, but I want to encourage criticism.

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Joonas has correctly pointed out the basic faults, and has included some useful suggestions. However, I'd like to supplement his answer with my own comments and translation.

To begin with, vas is certainly the proper word for 'vessel', but I'm afraid that the rest is a series of errors revealing inexperience in both reading and translation.

I think it best to examine the actual meaning to be conveyed before making the attempt. I have re-cast it into the English form with the highest skill, the body of the vase was made of the best material, resulting in a more beautiful shape. This allows us to use more compact and standard syntax :

Summa arte corpus vasis ex materia optima factum est, quo pulchrius esset forma.

Don't be discouraged : this is actually quite a difficult sentence to put into Latin that both looks and sounds authentic.

  • 1
    Thank you for your answer! I didn't want to say that beautiful shape is the result of taking care of quality of the material used. It was more of a description without causability implied. At least I didn't plan to imply it with my sentence. It is true however that I am not English native speaker. – user1846 Feb 28 '18 at 20:44

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