A more correct translation of the Latin paragraph in "Proxima"

Question

This is continuation of this earlier question. The following paragraph in Proxima is not correct Latin:

Fortasse accipio oratio stridens vestri. Sum Quintus Fabius centurio navis stellae "Malleus Jesu". Quid estis, quid agitis in hac provincia? Et quid est mixti lingua vestri?Germanicus est? Non dubito quin vos ex Germaniae Exteriorae. Cognovi de genus vestri prius. Bene? Quam respondebitis mihi?

Translating word-by-word into English reveals its meaning, but what would be a proper way to express this paragraph in Latin?

Here is one possible English translation, provided by brianpck:

Perhaps I accept your strident speech. I am Quintus Fabius, the centurion of the star ship "The Hammer of Jesus." What are you, what are you doing in this territory? And what is your mixed (?) language? Is it German? I don't doubt that you are from Outer Germany. I have heard of your people before. Well? What will you answer me?

You may use any reasonable English translation as a starting point. My attempt:

Orationem acerba fortasse accipio. Quintus Fabius sum, centurio in nave Malleo Jesus. Quis es? Quid in hac provincia agitis? Estne tua lingua mixta Germanica? Non dubito te esse Germanum exteriorem. Novi genus tuum. Heia! Quo respondebis mihi?

Answer 1

Here is a simple-minded translation:

Fortasse verba ista acerbissima accipio. Quintus Fabius, centurio navis "Malleum Iesu", sum. Quisnam es tu? Quid agis in hac regione? Qualis est lingua turbae tuae? Estisne Germani? Sine dubio vos a Germania Exteriore venisse aestimo; populus vester mihi iam notus est. Age dic! Quid respondes?

Perhaps I accept your very harsh words. I am Quintus Fabius, the centurion of the ship "Malleum Iesu" ("Jesus' hammer"). But who are you? What are you doing in this area? What is the language of that mob of yours? Are you Germans? Without doubt I think you came from Outer Germany; I am already familiar with your people. Speak! How do you respond?

Perhaps someone can offer something better in another answer, but this should get you started. Many choices depend on context, like where the speech takes place, in what kind of world and time everything happens, what kind of group is addressed, which "you"s are plural and which singular, all that.