I am working on a translation of a song from English into Latin at a friend’s request. The song will be used in a Catholic Church context (prayer/worship). For that reason, I have tried to draw vocabulary from the Vulgate and traditional Catholic sources where possible (e.g. “liquefacere” from the prayer of St. Bonaventure in the Roman Missal for “explode”). I have tried to preserve the meter in the original and rhymed the first two lines of each verse.
In disguise I come, I humble Myself
Can you see Me, I am here
Your deepest need,
Your deepest desire is for Love
Love is here
I am here
Love for you consumes Me
My Heart explodes
Covering you with water, with blood
I claim you as Mine
Let My Love consume you
V.1 Absconditus veniam, me humilio
Vosne me videtis? ego maneo
Hic est caritas
V.2 Consumptus, effusus, pro vobis ego sum
Liquefacit amore vestri cor meum
Aquam sanguinemque mei vobis effundo
Ut vos consumat amor meus
I would welcome any suggestions. In particular,
Can anyone suggest a better phrase than “desiderium profundum caritatis est” in v.1 to convey the idea that “your deepest desire is for love”?
“Mei nominati” in v.2 is intended as a vocative phrase addressing “you who are called ‘mine’”. Is this sufficiently clear?